Random Thoughts part 1

• OK OK I will show you a picture of the danged overblown Christmas tree-- enjoy - and remember this is 30 feet tall and sits in the main lobby of the hotel. To get it all in I took this from the 3rd floor mezzanine.


















• There is also a closeup from the first floor, and some wicked angry looking Santas they are selling.
  

























• On another note - traffic flow is interesting - most one way multi-lane streets have one lane reserved for traffic in the other direction.
• The metro train system is wonderful and a nice place to duck into if you need some air conditioned comfort. It is trivially easy to get around and is often 10 times faster during rush hour than any other form of transportation. Grid lock during the work week is the norm not the exception.
• The whole country is left side drive - like England - But it is right hand walk- especially up and down stair cases- kind of disorienting.
• Not one of the places the tuk tuk drivers ( 2 person auto rickshaws), or tour guides, or taxi drivers takes you - to show you the great wondrous treasures you can take back home with you ( tailors, gems, wood carvings- etc) has any crap worth blowing up.
• OK Im about to go on a rant- take it with a grain of salt.
• Every govt store, high end etc etc that you are shown is basically hand in glove (the same as any country really) with the taxi companies and tour guides and they produce poor class goods for the western tourist. You have to look far and wide for any kind of reasonable value and quality and believe me the people ( taxi drivers, tour guides) here won't tell you readily where to look. However, the regular peopel talk with you very readily and will tell you where they find good value. However you have to get out of your air conditioned car and wander around with the people- you would be surprised how many speak English!
• It turns out that the drivers get 30% of everything the store sells you AND they get free gas vouchers ( gas here is about $4 a gallon)
Jewelry.

• Every "Government" sanctioned store that sells jewelry has a tremendous square foot overhead to accommodate one tour bus after another. While the gemstones may be of reasonable quality in most of these places, the quality of the gold smithing work is crap ( this is a technical term C-Cheaply fashioned, R Random mutilple flaws in workmanship, A - Apathetic workers and sales people, P Poor finish and presentation) leaving much to be desired. IE channel set stones wobble in the channel, a lot of the jewelry has the channels half soldered in, and in many cases the channels are made from poorly rolled bar stock snipped with rough edges , left rough not polished well ( polish marks left on the piece) rather than cast in- and in generally have only value - as gold to be melted down again.
• Once I pulled out my 10X eyepiece to look at the jewelry- most of the sales people rolled their eyes and left me to take up with other patrons. They never came back to push the jewelry after that. They know what kind of crap they sell.
• They handed me pieces that had prices on them the equivalent to $100 000 US dollars , and expected me to buy it because it shined. Upon close observation the stones were not matched, they did not sit well in the channels- often leaving gaps between the stones, all the pave settings were so over blown that it looks like they gobbed the gold on to set the stones. All bracelets were under weight for what they should be - causing the bracelets to roll around the arm and wrist instead of sit nicely on them.
• There is an official government store that you can find- still the same crappy gold work, BUT much better prices, and you can buy stones too. The only bargains here may be the stones not the jewelry.
• I would love to take the time to find the artisans in each category. The same is true in many US cities. IE you find mass made jewelry settings of average quality being filled with stones of average quality. However every once in a while you find a genius jeweler and his or her stuff is worth spending time with

Wood carvings

• Same deal - the drivers get 30% of everything they can sell you so they push hard. The carvings are intricate but of no detail. IE they are very busy but when you look close there are tool marks, chips taken out, etc etc. It is almost impressionistic rather than realistic.
• The first store I went in to offered me a roll away liquor bar for $4500.00. One dead give away is that each piece of crap is labeled for sale in US dollars- no Thai would own any of this.
• The further you get into the store the more you find trinket crap made in China and India. Then you realize you saw most of this stuff with street vendors too.
• One store only - had something interesting- huge rocking chairs made of teak root bowls. The one I liked was about 5 feet across and 8 feet in length and you could crawl right into it and feel the spirit of the tree. Of course it was $7000 US delivered (haha)
Tailors

• Lessee- do you want a cashmere winter coat for only 400 dollars US? Or a mink cashmere one for $500? hmm I didn't either. The cashmere was rough but of course hand made in Thailand yet in another store with the same markings on the cashmere rolls- guaranteed it to be imported from Italy.
• There are dozens of ads for 3 suits 3 pairs of pants, 3 shirts, and 3 ties for $105 US. However when you get there the choice of materials at that price - well lets just say that if you want to look like Bozo the clown- have at it.
• The prices in the states are better for similar quality. All of the tailors claim they can measure you yet ask them how they make a pair of pants that accommodates a sitting girth larger than a standing one to look decent in both positions and you get a dead eyed look. Obviously the MASTER tailors were some where else today.
• 2 of them volunteered to make me some bow-ties for $30 each without ever seeing the design I had in mind. I can get Thai silk ones on the internet for $25.oo-$65.00
• When I asked to see a sample of their handiwork, one went over and got a coat off a dummy. The buttonholes were frayed and unfinished, the coat lining was not stiched in place properly, and it was just generally sloppy work You would think they would put their best foot forward on this occasion. Most people have no idea what to look for- and they find it.
• Again- you have to go with the locals to find the good tailors.
The obligatory Cultural event

• I'm beginning to wonder if I'm just cranky or what - but you can see the same cultural event anywhere in the world with minor twists
• Come to the event and be greeted in mock traditional fashion by having some one shove a bone through your nose ( ok that was Samoa but you get the idea) ( is thsi a proper rant yet!)
• See the happy natives all dressed up in their happy native costumes
• Participate in some kind of food event where you stuff yourself on some indigenous lizard they wont tell you about until after. After all they have to have some fun too wathing the tourists turn blue hen they find out what they just ate ( just what exactly is a giant water komodo)
• When totally full -watch performancea of "natives" leaping and cavorting- while someone speaks in mock English telling you about how their ancestors either navigated to the "new world" using a toothpick and the light from a candle, or killed something really big that tasted good when deep fried and covered in powdered sugar.
• Try to stare down native approaching you - he wants to have you leap, and cavort like a native. Explain that if you leap and cavort there is a 20% surcharge - and if your dinner comes back up there is a 30% surcharge - that will have to be paid to you by union contract.
• Watch confused native pick some other tourist.
• Fake natives smile and wave good bye to the rubes and give them some little gift that will immediately: ==> give birth to a million tiny spiders, ==> crush and leave stains on your shirt that have to be cut out or you will get a rash from hell, or ==>be made out of an endangered species and have a game warden standing right there. Pick one - or on a really good day pick all three.
• Don't forget to step in the elephant poop on the way out.
• Realize you just spent a hundred dollars on the equivalent of a bucket of Kentucky fried god knows what, and a really bad out of focus movie with Urdu subtitles and spoken in Swahili.
• If you are male at least admit you had fun ogling native women. If you are not male then admit you had fun ogling the native men. On second thought lets not go there!